Customer : Waiter, do you serve pigs?

Waiter : Please sit down sir, we serve everyone.

Customer : Waiter, is this a lamb chop or pork chop?

Waiter : Can't you tell the difference by taste?

Customer : No, I can't.

Waiter : Then does it really matter?

Customer : Waiter, there's a dead beetle in my soup.

Waiter : Yes sir, they are not very good swimmers.

Customer : Waiter, there's a fly in my soup.

Waiter : That's all right sir, he won't drink much.

Customer : Waiter, there's a fly swimming in my soup.

Waiter : So what do you expect me to do, call a lifeguard?

Customer :Waiter, what's the meaning of this fly inm! y tea up?

Waiter : I wouldn't know sir, I'm a waiter, not afortune teller.

Customer : Waiter, this soup tastes funny.

Waiter : Funny? But then why aren't you laughing?

Lady : Is this my train?

Station Master : No, it belongs to the IndianRailway.

Lady : Don't try to be funny. I mean to ask if I can take this train to New Delhi .

Station Master : No Madam, I'm afraid it's too heavy.

Teacher: Peter, why are you late for school again?

Peter : Well, Miss, I dreamed that I wasplaying football and the game went into extra time.

Wife : Do you want dinner?

Husband : Sure, what are my choices?

Wife : Yes and no.

A drunkard was brought to court. Just before the trial there was a commotionin the gallery. The judge pounded the gravel on histable and shouted,"Order, order." The drunkard immediately responded,"Thank you, your honor, I'll have a scotch and soda."

An absent-minded man went to see a psychiatrist.'My trouble is,' he said, 'that I keep forgetting things.''How long has this been going on?' asked the psychiatrist.'How long has what been going on?' said the man.

Teacher : Simon, your composition on "My Dog" is exactly the same as your brother's. Did u copy his?